Instructions To The Wives For The World Cup

My darling:

1. From June, 9 until July, 9 if you want to have any kind of conversation with me, please read the sports section of the newspapers, otherwise don’t bother to talk to me.

2. During the World Cup the TV is mine; don’t even try to touch that remote control.

3. If you need to pass in front of the TV I don’t care, always than you do it crawling.

4. It will be nice if you always have a couple of beers and some food in the fridge for my friends, if you do it you could have the TV from 6:00AM to 6:30AM if any of the 83 channels don’t repeat any game.

5. If you see me upset because Paraguay is losing, don’t said “is not that big deal” or “we will win in the next World Cup”, it only will upset me more.

6. You could seat by my side during a game and talk to me in the half time, but only during the commercials. Remember I said only A game.

7. The games highlights are very important, it doesn’t matter if I already seen it, I want to see them on slow motion and from different angles.

8. If one of your friend wants to baptize her child, to have a birthday party or even to marry, your can select one of these options:
a. I won’t go
b. I won’t go
c. I won’t go

9. But if a friend invites us to see the Sunday game, hurry up; we don’t want to loss the previews.

10. It is possible that during the World Cup I will not shave, take a bath or brush my teeth and that the sofa around me smells like a bear’s cage, but remember: I never said a thing about your “perfumes”.

11. For you knowledge: “Tierry Henry” is not a perfume, “Rooney” is not an actor, and “Heinze” is not ketchup. When you heard some “unknown” word, I will explain to you later (at least 60 days after the World Cup)

12. If you are angry, don’t bother to say “Thanks God than the World Cup is only every 4 years…”, there still will be the League, the Champions, the Libertadores Cup, the Intercontinental Cup, Euro Cup, America Cup, etc, etc,

13. If Paraguay wins the Cup, I will have the right of disappearing for 2 days with my buddies and when I come home I still will have the TV for 30 days to revive such achievement.

14. If Paraguay suffers an early elimination the World Cup, you will have the TV for 60 days, but only after the World Cup had ended and I cheered for every underdog until the finals.

But remember, that I always love you,

Your beloved husband.